Audition... Moi?

People are always asking me about auditions. I don't do auditions… well, except when I do. OK, maybe that needs a couple of words of explanation...

Always with an eye on the main chance, Dick will shoot something over to me once in a while if it's really worthwhile or if he's trying to impress a new client. My general rule is that if it's not a healthy four-figure sum or a real door-opener, then don't bother me with it. Usually, phone calls from Dick are simple… "You're at Joe's tomorrow at two o'clock for a three minute medical."

Not auditioning! Shock! Horror! I hear you scream that I cannot be serious (you're channeling John McEnroe, aren't you?)

No auditions! You cannot be serious!

Believe me I am serious. I have bills to pay like everyone else, and I take it as a point of personal pride that they're paid on time. OK, I'm talking utilities, rent, and so on… let's not get too enthusiastic and start including bars bills here, OK? Someone told me I was really lucky not having to audition. I need to work as much as the next guy, and luck has nothing to do with not having to audition.

It's like that old golf story… "the more I practice, the luckier I get" … I've been practicing for years, and over those years, I've built up a healthy client base who know my capabilities and availability. I've even got Dick running my calendar for me. Well, for the afternoons anyway… he still needs to ask me about the mornings.

But… here's the contradiction. I use a P2P. I'm sorry. I really am. I'm sorry that you now know that I'm just a mere mortal and not the doyen you wanted me to be. Imagine me hanging my head in shame if it makes you feel any better.

So, why do I use a P2P? Well, it's not that I actually submit that much, I just like the constant stream of new copy. It's too easy to be selective about what I read sometimes, but this way I force myself to read random crap… and I use the word crap on purpose because most of it is! (I wear a black armband in memory of grammar.) Recording onerous copy that's completely removed from my usual stuff is a good workout for me… and once I've recorded it, it's just too tempting not to send it off.

It helps re-stock the drinks cabinet once in a while.