I'm a VO. I can tie shoelaces!

Sometimes, Dick treats me like an idiot. To be fair, sometime I treat Dick like a… well, no prizes for guessing what... because sometimes he is. Now, don't get me wrong, as an agent, he's done OK for me… and as a drinking buddy he's not too bad either… stands his corner and will do the right thing if I find myself in an awkward, …er, there seems to be a problem with your card, sir, moment.

The problem with Dick is that he's too diversified. Always got an eye on the main chance. He's got a nice little number going with the voice stuff, but still insists on dealing with a load of on-camera clients. I'm sure he makes a nice little profit from them, but get a few large belts of Jameson's down his neck, and he'll be complaining about how much hand-holding and ass-wiping they all need. That's when the problems start… he goes into this mother-hen mode and treats all his clients like they need to be told how to tie their shoes… and that's exactly how to get on the wrong side of a working VO!

You know what I'm talking about. As a working VO, you know how to run your business. You may not do your own taxes, but you certainly know how to. You're pretty adept at negotiating your own rates and setting up your tools… computer, mic, booth, whatever. The point is that you know how to deliver a finished product and you are perfectly capable of working solo and delivering the goods (OK, I know, I can't produce a full radio spot, but I'm allergic to anything called a "zinger" that doesn't come in a glass.)

The dog-lovers objected to the cat, so I'm trying to redress the balance because I'm a media whore.

Your average young screen actor nowadays has been taken around since he was five by some over-attentive stage mother who did everything for them…. probably hired some homeless dude to stand in line for them at the local Annie auditions. If they're any good, they stand in front of a camera, do their thing, and walk away. OK, I'm being very simplistic (and a lot of these guys can actually act rings around me), but the point is that they don't have to worry about all the crap... the lighting, the camera, the mic, the boom, processing, color correction, editing, and all that other good stuff that makes their performance a product. They can, and usually do, live in their little "artistic bubble". They don't have to deal with the real business and the nuts & bolts of the industry.

Most VOs do. They even tie their own shoelaces. Dick forgets this sometimes.